Why Your Spouse May Be Reluctant To Come To Mediation

Even with all of the positive aspects of mediation, some people are hesitant for the following valid reasons: 

Beginning the process makes this a bit too real and they are not ready

One partner may not be as far along in the separation emotionally as the other.  It may be necessary to slow down the process a little to ensure that both parties are willing and able to participate fully in mediation. Mediation is a process that will go at your pace, making sure it is comfortable for both of you.

Assumption that since the other party contacted the mediator first that we are now on their side

A mediator is simply a neutral third party that will help you have the conversations that you need to have with your ex-partner. We cannot take sides and we do not have any decision making power.

Concerns about the cost

The cost of mediation in both financial and emotional terms is significantly less than the legal process. The cost is split between both parties.

Unclear of the process or why they would need it

The mediation process allows you to sit down with your ex-partner and try to sort things out yourselves. If children are involved it can help you vent emotions that will assist you to move forward positively in a co-parenting environment. Your mediator will help guide the conversation and highlight areas that will be required to proceed with a separation agreement.

They are already convinced that using a lawyer and battling everything out through the courts is in their best interests

It is certainly your prerogative to choose the legal process right from the start. When choosing this option, both sides often end up with a situation that doesn’t meet the family’s needs. The judge will make decisions based on the best interests of the children and what the parenting arrangements have been to date. It is really not about what “you” want or “your” best interests.  It can be very costly, very lengthy and very emotional as both sides fight to convince the judge of the merits of their position.  Mediation does allow you to have the legal process as a fall back and usually helps you to at least work out agreeable parenting plans together in most cases.